10 signs you're heading towards ADHD burnout

It’s been a while since my last post, but here I am - back from the depth of ADHD burnout. How I managed to miss ALL the warning signs is mind-boggling... Oh yes, hindsight is a beautiful thing!

My ADHD burnout came as a surprise. Despite announcing itself loud and clearly for weeks. So, why didn’t I recognise any of the warning signs?

Like a lot of ADHDers, I live on the edge of burnout all the time. We’re so used to never feeling at ease that it’s easy to dismiss any worsening symptoms as just a normal part of our lives.

Normal for ADHDers?

On top of the fact that life ALWAYS feels a bit much, I blamed burnout symptoms like worsening migraines on perimenopause and my changing hormones. I love the fact that we talk about perimenopause much more these days, but we need to be careful not to assign our experiences and symptoms to perimenopause automatically. Just because it COULD be related to hormones doesn’t mean it has to be.

10 signs of ADHD burnout I (dis)missed

1. Poor sleep

Okay, I hear you. Sleep is never great but it gradually got worse and worse. Even when I did have a good night’s sleep, I didn’t wake up feeling refreshed. I noticed it at the time but put it down to perimenopause rather than stress.

2. Neck and shoulder pain

Again, since I always have some degree of neck and shoulder pain, I didn’t see my worsening pain as a warning sign. Instead, I spent a lot of time trying to find physical reasons for it: Could it be my posture or my desk set-up? Maybe it’s a certain exercise I do during my workouts that makes my shoulder pain worse? Looking back, my body was obviously trying to tell me (loud and clearly!) that it was time to slow down. As I said, hindsight is a beautiful thing. 

3. Worse ADHD symptoms

My executive functions stopped functioning. I couldn’t get my words out; I had to write and rewrite lists just to remember the basic things I needed to do, I couldn’t remember what I had just said or done… The list goes on. I ignored all of it and just muddled through.

4. More frequent and more intense migraines

Instead of 1-2 migraines per month, I started getting them weekly. While this may well be hormonal and perimenopause-related, the evidence on the link between stress and migraines is clear. It may well have been a bit of both, but I only saw perimenopause, and I didn’t see stress or burnout as a possible cause.

5. Withdrawing from friends and family

As an introverted ADHDer, I’m never the most social, but the day I couldn’t even come out of my room to say hello to a friend who was visiting my husband was a new peak. I sat crying in my room, feeling like a failure. To be fair, at this stage, I had realised what was happening to me, but even in the weeks before this particular event, I stopped seeing friends and engaging with others. Everything seemed too much. As a knock-on effect, I started feeling detached and lonely.

6. Dreading the work I used to love

I started dreading seeing my clients. I could still manage my more desk-based tasks, but working with clients 1:1 or in a group setting felt almost impossible. It took a huge amount of effort and energy to deliver high-quality sessions. This made me sad, too, as I usually love my work with clients. It’s something that comes naturally to me and that I am good at. Losing my ease at work really knocked my confidence.

7. Feeling overwhelmed easily

Overwhelm is a daily occurrence for most ADHDers, but before reaching burnout, I felt overwhelmed by just about everything. Even small asks from my family seemed like an impossibility; tiny changes to my routine made me feel like I was totally out of control, and any additional appointment made my head spin. Life was just too much.

8. Stomach cramps and digestive issues

I started developing intense stomach cramps that made it impossible to leave my made. As with my other physical symptoms, I was looking for the cause in the wrong place: Had I eaten something strange, or were my midlife hormones to blame? It didn’t occur to me that my pain could be caused by anything other than a physical reaction.

9. Feeling cynical and angry

As the weeks went by, I developed a new cynical outlook and felt angry at the people around me. Not only were these unpleasant feelings, but they also made me feel a deep sense of disappointment with myself. 

10. Feeling like I wanted to vanish into thin air

Every night, I wished I stopped existing. These were not suicidal thoughts, and I can only explain them as a feeling of wanting to vanish. It might sound like the same thing to you, but I never considered taking my own life. It was clear to me that I wasn’t going anywhere, so maybe my hypothetical vanishing trick acted as some kind of comfort.

The day I hit the wall and my body took over

Ironically, despite all these things happening, I ended up working even later than usual, unable to relax and going to bed late. I was pushing through pain and working beyond the point of exhaustion, thinking it would all magically get better at some point. It was a vicious cycle that I could only break once I finally broke down.

It happened one morning when my husband touched my arm, and I started crying uncontrollably. His touching my arm felt like yet another demand I couldn't fulfil. My body finally had enough. It simply took over and did its thing. I had no control, and all I could do was give in and let go.

I was forced to take things easier. I started prioritising rest and sleep, and while I’m still not back to my usual self, I am slowly getting there.

Looking through my long list of symptoms now, it seems hard to believe that I wasn’t aware I was heading toward ADHD burnout.

I’m also wondering why nobody around me noticed anything but I’ve been a master of disguise for a long time. Having grown up with undiagnosed ADHD made me an expert in masking and putting on a brave face.

So, what have I learned? Well, I hope next time

• I would notice the signs sooner, and as a result, prioritise my own needs

• I would ask for help rather than wait for someone to notice my struggles and

• I would recognise physical symptoms for what they are: my body crying for help
  
  

Of course, one could argue that there’s no need to wait for burnout symptoms to appear before starting to prioritise your own needs! That’s what I would say to my clients, friends, or anybody who is willing to listen. Clearly, I’m not quite there yet. There’s more learning to be done.


Have you experienced ADHD burnout, too? Let me know if any of this resonates with you and if you’ve found a way to recognise the warning signs.